drinking at work

is apparently wrong.  my boss told me so.  she came into my office one day and said-I need to ask you a question.-  my normal paranoia has been pushed aside lately by the amazing amount of comments i've gotten along the lines of - we're SO glad you're here-we would hate your job-the last guy who had your job went crazy-we're so glad you're here instead of the crazy guy-blah blah blah, so I blithely sat there, expecting nothing. She smiled anxiously and said -Some people have said that they've smelled alchohol coming from your cube.  are you drinking at work?-  i suddenly got this picture of me, pulling a pint of bearhugger's finest whiskey from my bottom drawer, pulling the cork out with my teeth and drinking down half the bottle.  it certainly would make my job easier.  unfortunately, i likes me the paychecks, so i do my job sober.  i wouldn't advise it; i work with the public.  today, this guy took up 20 minutes of my day alternately insulting my job and scratching his armpit.  just his right armpit.  with great abandon, full hand, elbow swinging...at any rate, instead of grabbing my boss by the lapels and screaming -who said that whowhowho?- i denied, we laughed, and she left, secure in the knowledge that her best donkey was not getting loaded at work.  but since, i have been completly obsessed with who, who WHO would say that?  especially when, a week later, my boss did something silly and, with a terrier's inability to let things go, i said-NOW who's drinking at work?  and she laughed and said-i couldn't believe it when they came in and told me that.-  and i thought-THEY?  now there's more than one?!?  i want to find these people and obtain some just, poetic revenge.  however, i can't think of anyone who would do that to me.  and now, i look at everyone at work with suspicion.  i spent the rest of that first day asking everyone who came into my cube if they smelled anything funny.  They all said no.  Bunch of liars.